So, what's up?

I've been M.I.A. for 2 weeks. But only from blogging, because lord knows I've not been M.I.A. from my life. I've had my hands full with my ever expanding brood. So what's new? Quillan is continuing to grow grow grow... at our last office visit (2 week check up) he had grown to 11lbs 11oz (no idea on length as the nurse forgot to measure him). Let me tell you, he is a BIG boy. Forget wearing newborn clothes. Forget wearing 0-3 month clothes. The kid is wearing 3-6 month clothes and he'll be 3 weeks old on Monday! Holy moly! I guess I'm not surprised, given he eats and eats and eats.

Breastfeeding has gone better this time around. I didn't really have MAJOR issues with nursing last time, but it was harder. I guess it was all so new before, and it mostly hurt in the beginning. I guess now, after having nursed a toddler, nursing a newborn feels like nothing. I've got tons of milk, or so it seems as I drown him every time he begins a feeding.

I was planning on posting about a week ago to state for the record that Quillan is a much calmer baby than Xaelen was. I was pretty sure of that. I think I'm going to have to take that sentiment back though. We're having the similar fussy issues with Q as we did with X. Gassy tummy = SUPER cranky kid. This too shall pass though, right?

As for sleep, Quillan seems to be doing well in that department. He sleeps the entire night, nursing once or twice and going right back down. We co-sleep currently, so it leaves my sanity much more intact. I'm not sure I could function as well without the extra sleep I get from co-sleeping. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but for now - it works for us. He's been napping in his crib though, so there is hope for us yet! I really WOULD like to get him "trained" to sleep on his own, in his crib, through the night someday. But for now - we'll just keep on keeping on.

I'm slowly getting back to my pre-pregnancy self. I lost 30 lbs so far, but given I gained 50lbs (yikes!) this time around, I still have a ways to go to get back to my old body. No worries. It's only been 3 weeks. I'm still suffering from 1 minor(ish) ailment after giving birth. I can't feel my right foot. I'm not really sure what's wrong. Some have said it might have been from the epidural, some have said it was from the pressure Q's head put on some nerves in my hips on his way down the birth canal (he was sort of stuck for a while there in a less than optimal position). It's just weird. It feels like my foot fell asleep and just never woke up. Not fun!

So that's all for now. Tomorrow I'm going to try and post comparison pics of my 2 boys. They really do look somewhat alike, although I think X looks more like me and Q looks more like Adam. You'll have to tell me what you all think!

The man I married...

 

And he STILL looks great. Why do men age so damned gracefully?

February 15, 2003

 

I was looking at old pictures today... we looked so young! This is from our wedding reception. We actually got married January 9th in Jamaica, but had our reception when we returned. Man, time flies when you're raising kids! LOL!

Coming off my VBAC happy cloud

So I'm feeling sad today. I miss my 1st born! It just makes my heart ache seeing him want to be close to me and me constantly have to say no because there is a new little one attached to me. It sad that the majority of the time I have to say "No Xaelen, don't do that" to whatever he is trying to do. He's been acting out quite a bit since Quillan's birth. I expected a certain level of this, but I didn't realize it would be so soon and so all the time.

I'm trying my best to still be there for him as much as possible, but ultimately that leaves me feeling completely and utterly exhausted. My body still hurts and I'm still recovering from birth. It's hard enough keeping up with the needs of a newborn, lack of sleep and all. But it's even harder to juggle the needs of a newborn AND those of my wonderful 2 year old. I don't know how mothers do it.

Every time I look in to Xaelen's big blue eyes, I just want to cry. It's like I know things between us are never going to be quite the same. He will never be my one and only little man again. I have to figure out a way to still make Xaelen feel special and to have OUR time together to be special, even with a new little one in our life. If anyone has any suggestions, I will be more than happy to hear them.

Quillan's 1st Photos

 

 

 

 

Mission Accomplished! Quillan is here!

IT turned out to be the real deal! After I wrote the last post, I continued to time things and they were getting more intense and coming about 7 minutes apart. I took a shower, got my parents to pick up Xaelen, finishing packing up some last minute belongings, called my doula and told her we'd be heading on over. Around 11pm we arrived at Doula Dawn's house. I labored on her couch for a while and then decided the jacuzzi was a much better place to be. I got in and the pain certainly became more manageable but still quite intense. The problem once again, as it was with Xaelen, is I was experiencing a tremendous amount of back pain. This one wasn't posterior, but his was cocked to the side a bit making each contraction more intense then it otherwise would have been.

Around 2am, I proclaimed that I think I was ready to go to the hospital. I think I would have stayed in the water the entire laboring process, but I was so scared of having to go the hospital in the middle of transition or even worse, as I was birthing. I was still more or less hanging in, so I figured now would be a good time to go. Our doula's house was just 6 minutes from the hospital, making it a quick journey for us. We arrived at the hospital, and the walk from the car to admissions was the LONGEST WALK EVER!

We arrived at Labor and Delivery, and they had no rooms available at the moment! Ack! I was asked to sit in the waiting room while they cleaned one up for us. Oh my goodness. There were no couches, just 6 hard chairs. While we waited, I had about 5 or 6 surges. I just kept breathing through them and reminding myself "I can do anything for just 1 minute". That was my mantra through each and every surge I had during the labor. After about 15 or so minutes, I was brought to my labor room and checked.

After an internal exam, I heard the words I so desperately didn't want to hear. I had only progressed to 2 cm. Holy crap! I couldn't believe it. I had been laboring so hard, I was sure that I had made more progress. I had already made a deal with myself. If they told me I was 0 or 1, I would immediately ask for a c-section. Obviously, my cervix was too scarred and would never open. If I was a 2 or 3, I would ask for an epidural, and if I was a 4 or more, I would just keep on truckin'. Based on that deal, I was on the verge of tears and told my doula - I think I need meds. I really didn't want to have a medicated birth, but it was more important for me to have a VBAC than it was to have a non-medicated birth. And with the epidural, I felt that perhaps I would still have a chance.

At 3:30am my water broke, at 4:00am I got my epidural, and at 4:30am I was checked again. The next statement made my whole world spin. The nurse exclaimed "You're between a 6 or 7". Oh my goodness! I was elated! In just over an hour I went from 2 to almost 7! It could have been the water breaking, it could have been the epidural, but whichever it was - it was magic! I rested as much as I could from that point on. The epidural was light enough for me to still feel the surges, although they were just tightening sensations rather than pain. The epidural was also strong enough to allow me some much needed rest.

About 2 hours, and a little bit of a catnap later, I was checked again. I was at 9! It was probably around 7am at this point. We did a couple of practice pushes while he was checking me. It was amazing! By this point my epidural seemed to be wearing away. I could feel my legs and the surges to some extent. About 2 hours later I was complete! I was at 10! Who knew I could dilate to 10!

I pushed with the help of my wonderful Dr. Biter, my doula Dawn, my nurse Julie and Adam. Pushing probably took around an hour. With my last push, out came my very BIG baby! Unfortunately, he was also covered in meconium and therefore needed to be rushed away from me in order to help him breathe. So here is a little about his stats:

He was 9lbs 14oz (if he hadn't passed meconium he might have been the full 10lbs!)
He was 20.5 inches long
He looks like a little Xaelen, only with darker hair and slightly more smooshed head.

I feel super human! I pushed a baby (a BIG baby) out of my vagina!!!! And I didn't tear!

We're home today, 26 hours after I delivered. I feel good, although quite sore. My bum hurts, my vagina hurts, and my uterus is cramping up like crazy. It's all par for the course though. I feel super accomplished and super tired.. And with that, I'm going to try and take a nap!

This could be IT.

I'm not entirely sure... but IT feels much different than anything else I've felt this pregnancy, and IT feels somewhat similar to the little bit of labor pain I felt before the back labor kicked in last time with Xaelen.

We went out to sushi with Adam, Xaelen & my parents. I started having braxton hicks contractions, but much more intensely and frequently than I've felt before. I was thinking this might mean something, but shrugged it off.

We got home around 6:30, and I started noticing that I was now starting to feel some cramps - almost like menstrual cramps, but different somehow. I put Xaelen to bed around 8pm...

(CUT)
OH MY GOODNESS, that was a painful one.. ok.. back to the story...

It's now 8:48pm and they seem to be coming more and more frequently, but I still haven't established that they are coming regularly or at any consistent intervals. I will cross my fingers that this is IT, and the next time ya'll hear from us, we'll be parents of not one, but two beautiful boys!