There was a time when tequila was a drink of choice. When staying up late meant 2am, not 10pm. When platform shoes were my footware of choice. When going away was as easy as logging on to travelzoo and finding a great getaway - and then just going. Jamaica, Laughlin, driving up the California coast and back - piece of cake.
I was young, carefree, nothing tieing me down. I had quit my job in 2001 to go back to college and finish my bachelor's degree. I was 28 years old, but I felt 18. We were poor but rich on experiences of life. We did what we wanted, when we wanted, the only thing that even resembled a responsibility was a paper that might be due, or a test coming up. What could have been easier? Really, school is MUCH easier than work.
This is me in 2004. No wrinkles yet. I look completely oblivious to the challenges of motherhood that lie ahead of me in just a few short years to come. I look well rested. I look thinner!
This is me at the end of July 2005. The lovely gentleman in the photo is Xaelen's godfather and Adam's friend since virtually birth. We're at a wedding. It was on this trip that Xaelen was conceived. The wedding was in Modesto, CA - and just further along our trip (in Santa Cruz) the miracle of life was created. Again, I look rested! I look tan! I'm so unaware of what's to come!
And this is me 2 weeks before Xaelen was born. Notice that the well rested look is starting to disappear. It's as if I know what's in store for me, and I'm plugging ahead nontheless. It will be just a few weeks more before I really realize what new road we've embarked on.
I tell you all of this, becauase I'm starting to realize that in hindsight - EVERYTHING looks better. There was no way in hell that I felt young, rested, spry IN the moment. I probably felt tired, I probably felt old, and I probably felt that my "best" days were behind me. But looking back just a few years, I think WOW! You looked young! You looked rested! You looked like you were enjoying life! I need to remind myself of this, because I will look back at myself in a few years and realize that THIS is a wonderful time in life. I will not be able to relive it, the same way I will not be able to relive the years that came before. I need to remember to see TODAY as the beautiful moment that I will remember come tomorrow.
(Mind you, I didn't post a picture of the current moment because I feel huge, tired and old. I tell you, this realization is still a work in progress.)
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