I was young, carefree, nothing tieing me down. I had quit my job in 2001 to go back to college and finish my bachelor's degree. I was 28 years old, but I felt 18. We were poor but rich on experiences of life. We did what we wanted, when we wanted, the only thing that even resembled a responsibility was a paper that might be due, or a test coming up. What could have been easier? Really, school is MUCH easier than work.
This is me in 2004. No wrinkles yet. I look completely oblivious to the challenges of motherhood that lie ahead of me in just a few short years to come. I look well rested. I look thinner!
This is me at the end of July 2005. The lovely gentleman in the photo is Xaelen's godfather and Adam's friend since virtually birth. We're at a wedding. It was on this trip that Xaelen was conceived. The wedding was in Modesto, CA - and just further along our trip (in Santa Cruz) the miracle of life was created. Again, I look rested! I look tan! I'm so unaware of what's to come!
And this is me 2 weeks before Xaelen was born. Notice that the well rested look is starting to disappear. It's as if I know what's in store for me, and I'm plugging ahead nontheless. It will be just a few weeks more before I really realize what new road we've embarked on.
I tell you all of this, becauase I'm starting to realize that in hindsight - EVERYTHING looks better. There was no way in hell that I felt young, rested, spry IN the moment. I probably felt tired, I probably felt old, and I probably felt that my "best" days were behind me. But looking back just a few years, I think WOW! You looked young! You looked rested! You looked like you were enjoying life! I need to remind myself of this, because I will look back at myself in a few years and realize that THIS is a wonderful time in life. I will not be able to relive it, the same way I will not be able to relive the years that came before. I need to remember to see TODAY as the beautiful moment that I will remember come tomorrow.
(Mind you, I didn't post a picture of the current moment because I feel huge, tired and old. I tell you, this realization is still a work in progress.)
6 comments:
Great pics, it was fun to see your various looks over the years. Thanks for reminding me to keep things in perspective and be grateful for the here and now.
Here here sister. I was just looking at the family pic I posted on my blog yesterday thinking about how Jon and I have MANY more wrinkles than we did 4 years ago. But did you see our smiles?? This is a good time, a very good time.
Love the old pics but you are one hot mama now with a super duper life.
Love the pics! It's funny because i'm still 21, but I have the same feelings when I look back at pics of me at 18 etc..lots more stress post baby! I'm sure you look great right now.. post a pic!! :)
Ah, I know exactly how you feel. It's like when you're in high school and you're constantly going "I'm so fat, I need to lose weight, all the other girls are skinnier, blah blah blah" and then you look at your high school yearbook and you're like OMG, I was SO SKINNY BACK THEN! But I was too stupid to realize it!
Like Laura said, though, the wrinkles are a trade off for how much richer your life is now. At least that's what I tell myself when I find myself browsing the makeup counter for "anti-aging formulas."
crazy how life changes doesn't it? I called the cops recently to report loud people who woke me up on their way home from the bar. i used to be one of the people waking the dorks who went to bed early. Now I am that person. LOL
I loved your pics and your thoughts. You make a very good point and thanks for the reminder to enjoy the moment now!
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